Skip to main content

W: This is insomnia talking. Its rambling, nonsense and weird.

Susah hatinya....!! *sigh*
.
.
Smlm tak le tido sgt2, so I write this last night but didn't post it sbb mls nak pergi on kan internet. So here it goes,

Late night, I can't sleep. Tossing around with lots of thing creep into mind unconsciously. *sigh.ihatethis*. Baru lepas buat operasi cucicucibasuhbasuh. Yes, I know its late but I can't sleep, so what else should I do? Pergi cari kerja la kat dapur tu. *nasib baik tak buat operasi masakdanmakantghmalam*

Bila tak boleh tido mcm ni, mcm2 fkr and tiba2 teringat anime yg tgk siang td. And lepas combine yang mcm2 and yang lain2 tu mula fikir yg bkn2.
And here come all the nonsense thinking,
.
.
Pernah tak wishing nak stop doing whatever that u've been doing for all this time for just a lil' while.? Wishing yg life ada butang pause yg you can tekan so that you can have some time to catch a breath and doing some other things ?
Bila keadaan mcm ni, I do wish that I've that button. Paused sekejap and pergi buat something else yang tak de kena mengena dgn apa yg I've been doing selama ni. Pergi someplace new and jauh dr bnda ni semua, and I don't know doing other stuff. Working or learning new things yang selama ni tak pernah peduli and ambil serious, bake or cook, gardening or write a book? *haha, ok, this become more and more nonsense.* and then, when I've breath enough and I've simpan all the 'oxygen' needed to continue that 'real life', I'll unpaused and start to live that real life again starting at where I've stopped.
.
.
*hahaha.sigh* As if that can happen. I mean, being sick for more than 2 weeks, and now all the things are piling up and things are not the same as when I left sbb everyone that I left behind continue doing things they had to and I'm being left behind to catch things up. Well, telling the truth, its not the catching up that are bothering me but the responsibilities that awaits. And this is not just about studies or activities but a lot of other things.
Growing up comes with a lots of responsibility and life never be the same as when you're a child. A life when things that bother you the most are asking permission nak keluar main dgn kwn2, or telling mum when you broke a plate or mcm mana nak face kwn2 sbb malu bila gigi susu depan dah rongak. It simpler back then sbb paling2 pun, cuma kena marah bila pecahkan pinggan and gigi yang rongak tu akan tumbuh balik. *good ol' times. =) *

Susah hatinya...!

itsaverylongjourney

This is insomnia talking. Abaikan.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

We admire people and wish we have the life that they live. We look at them thinking "ahh, they are the hero and the heroin. They are the main character." And we all merely a supporting character. We forget that we are not living their life. We are the main character in our story. We have our own story. We have our own life.

Reminiscence

I was reading back all my previous post. I realizes how much I love (and actually went crazy) with Korean and Japan stuff back then. I don't even remember being that passionate. Its funny really how times change you. Now, I can't even remember the last time I watch a korean or japanese drama. I think I lost the ability to recognize most of the actor and actress. (I used to know them, like a lot of them). . . . Suddenly, I feel old.

Done and forward.

Counting the steps I take climbing that ‘wall’, I think total count were only 5. 5 steps,  3 years and counting. With lots of effort, courage and heartache. Hehe. But I think I will stop counting. I taken and done all 5. So what done was done. Stop doesn’t mean giving up. Its just giving time to appreciate myself and telling myself, “Owh, you’ve done enough. You’re exhausted now so rest, let it be the way it will be. Smile.” :) Right now I am at the top of the ‘wall’ waiting, but one day, there will be time I be moving forward, maybe in the same directions toward the one I’ve chasing this past 3 years, or maybe fate fare me a better destinations.  I’m done.